In The Name Of Motherhood...

Brian was telling me today about a book he was flipping through in a book store with a title along the lines of “Confessions of a Mother” (he can’t remember the exact title). It’s apparently a compilation of stories/experiences of real mothers, describing crazy things they’ve done in the name of motherhood. And how even though we all do eyebrow raising things, we don’t usually disclose it. I am so grateful for women in my life who remind me that some of the extreme measures we take as mothers are not only normal, but expected. I remember Rachael once telling me how the true purpose of tinted windows on a van is so that no one can see the children you illegally left in the car while you ran into the store. And my sister who did leave the children in the car at the airport and was seriously chastised by airport security (she apparently needs tinted windows). Others who have fed their kids chocolate cake for breakfast and some who discovered at the shoe store the reason her kid kept tripping over her feet was because the shoes were two sizes too small.

I am reminded of a fabulous essay by Anna Quindlen on motherhood. One favorite part is:

Every part of raising children is humbling, too. Believe me, mistakes were made.
They have all been enshrined in the Remember-When-Mom-Did-Hall-of-Fame. The outbursts, the temper tantrums, the bad language, mine, not theirs. The times
the baby fell off the bed. The times I arrived late for preschool pickup. The
nightmare sleepover. The horrible summer camp. The day when the youngest came barreling out of the classroom with a 98 on her geography test, and I responded, "What did you get wrong?" (She insisted I included that.) The time I ordered food at the McDonald's drive-through speaker and then drove away without picking it up from the window. (They all insisted I included that.) I did not allow them to watch the Simpsons for the first two seasons. What was I thinking?

This always makes me laugh and gets me thinking about how many of these things I’ve done (why does the baby have to fall off the bed before you stop leaving her there unattended?) and all the things I’ve done in addition: The hiding in the closet to talk on the phone, small acts of deception (McDonald’s is known in our house as the ice cream store—a perk of raising vegetarian kids) and very loose adult supervision because I can’t put down a good book. And then there's the replay feature I’ve used on Baby Einstein to meet a work deadline, only to later lock the French doors on the office with Ella pounding on the glass. The countless food bribes and urgent potty breaks in some creative places. For those who say you have no little secrets, I don't believe you. You wouldn't survive the job if you didn't. So I ask you…what are your secrets? What crazy things have you done in the name of motherhood?