A Week's Recap

Life has been a bit crazy recently to write anything particularly thoughtful or profound. The combination of a beach trip, packing a house and Brian out of town this week has more than occupied me. So you'll just have to settle for a recap.

Our beach trip this past week, was supposed to go the full week, but didn't...never-the-less, we had a great time. Last Saturday we headed out to Ocean City , MD where my aunt and uncle graciously let us use their beach condo. Our good friends Jenn and Barrett Kirwan joined us with their two kids, Ella and Sam. (Yes, that is correct, our children have the same names...theirs are older so I guess we were the unoriginal ones. The Kirwans were also the first to bring to our attention that it's important to refer to the kids as "Ella and Sam" rather than "Sam and Ella" since the latter sounds too much like a common bacteria. Important point.) As far as I’m concerned, the beach with friends is the way to do it. The kids entertain each other, and evenings consist of quality adult time that doesn’t require the use of a babysitter. My parents also came and joined us for a day with my nephew, Josiah, who was visiting from Spokane, WA . We had terrific weather and managed not to get too sunburned. This was also Samantha's debut at the beach...she was intrigued by the ocean and decided that sand didn't taste very good. Some images from the beach:

Ella has officially fallen in love with the beach. Last year, she was rather tentative…afraid of the ocean and the sand was a huge nuisance. But this year she fully embraced it. We couldn’t keep her out of the ocean and she played freely in the sand. Since she’s not strong enough to brave the waves by herself, an adult had to be with her—and she outlasted us all.

Brian and I kept remarking all the things we had to do at home in preparing for the move—had we known we would be moving the end of this month we probably would not have planned the beach trip. But I’m so glad we did. Sometimes you need some forced relaxation or it will never happen. For our mental health, we needed the time away from the house. However, Brian found out last week that he was again getting sent off to Idaho for more depositions. So he took off on Tuesday. The Kirwans were headed off to Utah for the summer and they left Tuesday evening. The girls and I stayed put at the beach another night and then made our way back on Wednesday. Although I would have loved for Ella to have more time at the beach, I did feel the pressure of getting the house packed and wasn’t quite sure how to balance Ella, who was always wanting to be in the ocean with an infant, who enjoyed the beach for about 15 minutes at a time. So we loaded up and headed home.

Friday, Ella and I had a mommy-daughter date to see a Washington Mystics (WNBA) basketball game. We took the metro downtown, which is always a hit with Ella, mostly because she gets to “take the train like Daddy”.

Although I am in full support of a professional womens’ basketball league, and love and applaud women's athletics, I have my doubts about it's sustainability. I would guess only about a third of the arena was full...people just don’t come to watch them. Probably a combination of the fact that it's women's sports and because basketball games aren't really a traditional summer activity. There's also this weird combination of trying to masculinize the game, but still keeping a feminine touch on things. For example, the players congratulate each other by spanking butts and bumping chests (seems painful). But yet, they handed out picture frames to everyone as door prizes. What male sporting event have they ever handed out picture frames? Anyway, it was still fun, and furthered my goal of getting Ella interested in basketball.

We cheered, ate ice cream, danced and tried to get on the big TV. In the last few minutes of the game, when it was apparent the Mystics would win the game, Ella asked if they would get a prize for winning. I mean to a four-year-old, what's the fun if no prize is involved?

My task-master was calling for me to keep packing, but I guess he gave up and went to bed. I guess I'll join him.

Moving On...

Given our history, I didn't want to jinx it... so I didn't post it until it was a sure thing.

I suppose it can't totally be a sure thing until closing next week, but everything is in line...contract is signed, home inspection, appraisal, everything is done. This whole process didn't go as swimmingly as the first time in February, but given the current market, we are grateful that the house is sold and we can move on.

So the Bowcuts are off to Bethesda, only a 8 mile journey. We look forward to a new neighborhood, new parks, a new ward (church congregation), and hopefully (with both my fingers and toes crossed) lots of little girls to play with in our neighborhood. And we're close enough that we can still frequent our favorite Silver Spring spots with our favorite Silver Spring/College Park people.

Given that we've been in such limbo over the past few months, it's been difficult to get excited or to start planning for our new house. But now that the weight has been lifted of selling our house, we are eager to roll up our sleeves and get to work. There will be much to tell regarding our decorating debacles, but in the meantime, here are some pictures to give you a sense of what we'll be working with.

My Real Simple arrived just in the nick of time--they have a section devoted to making outdated bathrooms livable without major renovation.

This is the future playroom in the basement--also sporting that gold-foil, Santa Fe inspired wallpaper. As an added bonus, apparently there are several more layers of equally attractive wallpaper hidden underneath!

Most of the house is actually mercifully neutral, but these are definitely the rooms that make our house unique. It might not be for awhile, but we'll post some pictures of the transformation in the future.

Summer Kick-off

The month of June is in full swing. Despite the fact it has been hot as blazes here in DC, we are enjoying the onset of summer. In contrast to the fairly uneventful summer we had last year while we were awaiting the arrival of Samantha, we have jammed as much as possible into these summer months. They consist of moving, summer camps, vacations, business trips and family reunions. This past weekend we held our first (and maybe our last) ever yard sale. Once a year our neighborhood organizes a yard sale weekend—we had never participated, but given that we’re packing up our house, we had a number of items to get rid of. My Grandma, Mom and friend Miriam, all decided they wanted to unload some junk as well. It was quite the shopping extravaganza here in Silver Spring.

I was pleased to see all my baby clothes and small appliances go, but why oh why didn’t anyone want my pink ceramic basket or personalized graduation picture frame? My Mom even got to part with her foot spa and cuckoo clock. We scoffed at my Grandma’s selling of several pairs of (new) pantyhose, but lo and behold, she sold them. I guess they were quite a deal if the color and size suited you. What I realized is that you need lots of different kinds of people for your yard sale to be a success. For the mélange of stuff you pick up throughout your lifetime through various travels and experiences, you need a diversity of people to fully appreciate your treasures. Unfortunately, we didn’t have anyone colorful enough to buy my stepdad’s eclectic collection of foreign art (particularly the one of topless African women) or Miriam’s bright red lacey lingerie (I think a gag gift to her).

Ella did the best business—that little entrepreneur sold lemonade. She was set up in the shade at the end of the driveway, and with the temperatures in the high 90’s, she was a success. For $.25 a cup, she raked in close to $10. (Of course I didn’t charge her the cost of materials, so it was all profit to her). She's still not totally sure what the big deal is about having money, but she still felt pretty proud of herself.

Another hallmark of June is the end of school. Today was Ella’s last day of pre-school for the year. We still have yet to decide whether she’ll return next year or head off to Kindergarten, but overall she had a good year. I’ve seen her blossom socially and take off academically. She is a smart cookie and we're so proud of her. She will miss her teacher, Ms. Soma and her class of friends. Fortunately, she'll see many of them at summer camp this summer.

Because today was a short school day, we took off to the park with some friends from class to enjoy a picnic lunch. Heat doesn't phase kids nearly as much as the adults--I think they could have gone all day running around.

We're already a third of the way through June and I look at all we have going on this month--

Saturday, we take off for a week at the beach, and lose Brian for several days as he heads off to take more depositions. I'll stick Ella in camp, pack up our house and we'll be off to Bethesda (more on that later). Phew...makes me tired just thinking about it.

What I've Been Waiting For...

Having our girls four years apart has had many perks: Ella is in pre-school most mornings, she is old enough to be helpful and attentive to Samantha, and because Samantha is not a threat to her space and toys (yet) she hasn’t had the adjustment that comes with having a younger sibling. However, I have worried about whether they will truly play together. Will their interests and attention spans be too far apart? Will Ella spurn Samantha as the pesky , follower, little sister? I suspect we will have periods where both of these will ring true, but over the past week, they have started to play together. And not five minutes of playing where Ella waves a toy in front of Samantha’s face, but rather down-on-the-floor playing with toys for as long as 30 minutes. Sometimes Ella plays directly with Samantha—building her towers and so forth, and sometimes they both play with their own things, but are occupied longer because they’re content there is another person in the room keeping them company. Ah…serenity.

Perhaps it’s our own fault, but Ella has always been a very attention-needy child—I suspect common in most first-born children. We have gone through long stretches where Ella has no interest in her toys. She wants another human to read with, go outside, do puzzles or play a game with. I of course can accommodate her some of the time, but when I can’t, I have a bored child at my heels. Recently, Ella has turned a corner in this regard. I think partly because she is reading, which is a new-found interest and also because her imagination has taken a recent leap. Her stories and make-believe are much more intricate. In addition, having Ella’s friends over is a much more enjoyable experience. When we have friends over after school, I don’t have to think of things to keep them happy and entertained. The girls prefer to go off and play by themselves and appear once in awhile to ask for help with a dress-up outfit or to stick their fingers in the cookie dough.

Don’t get me wrong…I still spend a huge portion of my time being the entertainment, but it feels good to get a break every now and then. I’ve decided my new favorite game is re-enacting Cinderella. Ella is obviously Cinderella and I float between roles of a mouse, the mean stepmother and fairy godmother. I lingered in the stepmother role this evening—Cinder”Ella” mopped my kitchen floor, dusted the main floor furniture, and put away the toys of her stepsister (Samantha) while Prince Charming (Brian) did the dishes. Now that’s a fairy-tale I can live with.

In Memoriam

Today Samantha and I visited my father’s grave at Arlington National Cemetery. Since I am the only one of my siblings who lives in the area, I try to be regular about going--I generally make it about twice a year. Because his birthday falls so close to Memorial Day and Father’s Day, I usually make one of my trips around this time. I learned a couple of years ago, never to go on Memorial Day itself, as the cemetery is crowded to the gills with tourists and mourners. But it’s always a touching experience to go in the days leading up to or immediately after Memorial Day, because there are more people visiting the graves of their loved ones. Each year, the cemetery also places an American flag in front of each and every headstone, which is an amazing sight (they must have taken them down before I got there this year). As an immediate family member of someone buried there, you’re given a lifetime pass into the cemetery, which allows you to drive directly in, rather than having to walk or take a bus in with the tourists. You can therefore easily distinguish between mourners and tourists. I have found there is an unspoken camaraderie among the mourners—I have often been a recipient of a kind gesture from someone there. Today, I was looking for a vase that you can stake into the ground to hold the flowers I brought. I stopped by a couple of large bins they have set out and they were of course empty, with the high volume of visitors. I was a little discouraged, but decided my flowers just wouldn’t have any water. A woman stopped and saw me getting back into my car and yelled out that she had an extra one—she always brings her own. I was so grateful for her generosity.

I went while Ella was in school today—she has been several times and I wanted to go without the extra chatter and distraction. This was Samantha’s first time and I enjoyed going with just her.
After we spent some time at my Dad’s gravesite, I wandered a bit through that section of the cemetery. There were a few observations I wanted to share.

First, I stood in only a small section of the cemetery, and to see head stones as far as the eye can see is overwhelming. You can see in the pictures how perfectly aligned the headstones are with each other. When my Dad decided he wanted to be buried in Arlington, as a teenager I disliked the idea, partly because his burial place wouldn’t stand out—his headstone would be identical to everyone else. However, now I think it’s perfect. I like that he is numbered with those who worked to protect our country and particularly those who sacrificed their own lives for the freedom we enjoy and so often take for granted.

Second, you might have noticed in the photo with Samantha that each of the headstones has a religious symbol on it. My Dad’s has the generic Christian symbol on it, but shortly after he died we tried to determine what the symbol would be for Mormonism. Any guesses? We wandered through the cemetery looking for one, and actually there is one not too far from my Dad.

Third, as I was headed back to the car, I happened to see this grave. The beautiful, vibrant flowers caught my eye. When I looked at the headstone, I saw that the wife of a service man was buried here, and one day her husband would be buried there as well. I of course don’t know who placed those flowers there, but I pictured in my mind an elderly man placing those bright flowers on his wife’s grave, missing her on Memorial Day.

My Dad has been gone for almost 16 years, over half of my lifetime, and yet it seems like yesterday that we were saying our good-byes in the cemetery. I can't think of a better way to honor his memory than to talk about him with my children. Ella was very excited when I told her today was his birthday--she apparently announced to her pre-school class that "today is Grandpa Caylor's birthday...but he died."

Happy Birthday, Dad.

Raising Up a New Generation

I’ve been thinking recently about how Ella gets older, I continue to be amazed at how the world is shaping her into a different kid than I was. The world has changed so much in the past 25 years. First, I marvel at her technological proficiency. She is a wiz at operating our computer, figured out how to take pictures using my cell phone, operates her digital camera by herself, plays games on my Mom’s Blackberry, and enjoys working our iPods. These gadgets of course weren’t around when I was her age, but I am floored by the fact that at 4 and ½ years old, she is quite adept. I remember as a teenager/young adult giving my parents a hard time who stumbled through operating the DVD player, or surfing the internet. My kids are going to surpass me in no time with their technological prowess and I will soon be the laugh-ee.

Second, is Ella’s early awareness of protecting the environment. I wish I could take full credit for this, but she learns it in school and sees it on TV. These are issues that didn’t exist (or at least were not in the mainstream) when I was a child. Several days ago we were driving in the car and Ella explained to me that the smoke that comes out of cars is bad because it makes it hard for us to breathe. After Samantha finished a jar of baby food, Ella asked if I was going to recycle that. And she looks for litter at the park and around our yard to “to keep the earth beautiful” (I have the Dora mermaid episode to thank for that). And then she helps me to remember to bring my re-usable grocery bags into the grocery store (more on that in a moment). I find great comfort in the fact that this has entered her awareness. We try to bring it to her attention some, but she is clearly getting these messages in other places. So if she is, so are other kids, and that gives me hope that maybe we can raise a generation who will care about what we’re doing to our planet Earth.

So in light of trying to expose our kids to environmentally friendly practices, we did a fun outing this past week. I loaded the girls up in the van, along with my friend Christine and her two kids and drove up to Frederick County to visit an organic dairy farm.

We went last year and had a great time, mostly because you get to see the inner workings of a dairy farm, the kids get to feed the calves and you get to treat yourself to excellent ice cream.

(What is it with Ella and her peers not cooperating for the camera?) This farm is particularly neat because it’s the only farm in Maryland where they actually grow the crops the cows eat, milk the cows, and process and bottle the milk there on the premises. They of course don’t treat their cows with any hormones or antibiotics. The girls had a great time, and my only regret is that I didn’t get a larger bowl of ice cream.

I think our kids probably learn more from us through example than anything else. I mentioned before about my re-usable grocery bags. Part of what makes environmentalism unpopular and so hard is the inconvenience of altering your way of life for something you see no immediate benefit from. I don’t know if it’s a national craze, but at least in the DC area there has been a lot of hype about paper versus plastic. Paper is biodegradable and recyclable, but is more expensive and requires greater energy to produce. Plastic on the other hand is very cheap to produce, but is not recyclable and sits forever in landfills. So I’ve been eyeing others’ re-usable grocery bags for awhile, which a slight pang of guilt that I really should start using them. My biggest beef was that I would have these sitting around in my house and car all the time. However, I was at Sniders a couple of months ago, a local grocery store, and decided it was time to invest in some bags. I bought 4 and have been so pleased with my $4 investment. They fit so many more groceries, don't break and are easy to sling over your shoulders, making carrying groceries less cumbersome.

I fully recognize that not all of the readers of the Bowcut Bulletin share our concern about the environment (a certain younger brother springs to mind), and that’s okay, we can agree to disagree. But really and truly, give these bags a try--environmentalism aside, they are much more user friendly. And don't worry, I won't tell anyone you're being green.

On My Own... (sigh)

It seems that Brian and I have hit the pinnacle of craziness. We knew it was coming. In addition to our house selling woes, Brian has been very busy preparing for and taking depositions, which has fully consumed him. Brian represents the federal government in a case involving a group of farmers who are suing for damages to their crops after the Bureau of Land Management (BLM) sprayed to eliminate an invasive plant, called cheat grass (pictured). That’s about the extent of my knowledge about the case, but in any event it has required Brian to become intimately familiar with farming and the grand state of Idaho. We haven’t seen very much of him lately, and we won’t see any of him over the next two weeks as he will be traveling between Boise, Burly, Pocatello and Salt Lake City. This has all contributed to an eventful spring, and quite frankly, we're ready for a vacation (which ironically, will in part take place in Idaho this summer).

Saturday morning as he’s getting ready to leave for the office, I am scanning the front page of the Style section of The Washington Post. There is a picture of a glowing pregnant Angelina Jolie, who recently announced she is pregnant with twins (she’s 8 months pregnant—I don’t know how she’s concealed it this long).


Brian made some comment about the number of kids they’re racking up and I snidely responded that it’s not much of an imposition when you depend on others to help raise them. With briefcase in hand, headed out for a more than full day’s work on a Saturday, Brian responded, “you’re right—it’s not that difficult when someone else is taking care of them.” I laughed, and he asks, "wait...are you gonna blog that?"

So in anticipation of your burning questions about what I will be doing over the next two weeks, let me fill you in:

1) I will be selling a house. I will continue to strive to keep the house somewhat clean and will vacate at the drop of a hat, regardless of what we might be doing (naps, eating, showering, running on the treadmill, etc.) Saturday morning consisted of me feeding and dressing my children in the van, parked in the Starbucks parking lot. It was truly pathetic looking.
2) I will not be making dinner. Fortunately, Ella enjoys cold cereal more than anything else I cook.
3) I will be watching many movies post-eight o’clock. I have several chick flick movies I’ve wanted to see that Brian just wouldn’t stomach. He speculates that the Lifetime channel will be viewed often during his absence, but I will neither confirm nor deny it.
4) I will be further exploring the pros and cons of sending Ella to Kindergarten next year (this requires a post all of it’s own—stay tuned).
5) I will be investing some time in a good book.
6) I will be missing Brian. The house is too empty without you—hurry home.

In any event, drop me a note--I need the company.